*Christian counseling insights for new moms in Georgetown, Round Rock, and Central Texas•
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You don’t have to smile through every season of motherhood. Sometimes the most sacred moments require honest tears.
The most isolated I’ve ever felt was during a time when strangers everywhere kept telling me to “enjoy it while it lasts!” Whether I was at H-E-B in Round Rock or walking through Georgetown’s town square with my stroller, well-meaning comments followed me everywhere.
I was trying. I really was. I was happy—or at least I thought I should be. I was enjoying most of it. But underneath the gratitude and the love and the wonder of watching my daughter discover the world, I was also deeply grieving the life I used to have.
I missed the freedom. I missed my husband. I regretted all those nights we sat on the couch doing nothing when we could’ve been out there living—maybe catching a sunset at Blue Hole or dinner in downtown Austin. Now I could barely go to the bathroom without asking him first because my daughter never wanted to be put down.
And every well-meaning comment from a stranger felt like a gentle slap: You should be happier. You should be more grateful. You should be enjoying this more.
If this sounds familiar—if you’re in a season that’s supposed to be joyful but feels heavy with loss—I want you to know something: You are not crazy if you are not happy, and you are not ungrateful if you are struggling.
The Grief Nobody Talks About
As a Christian therapist serving Georgetown, Round Rock, and Central Texas families, I see this struggle daily. We live in a culture obsessed with happiness, especially around major life milestones. Having a baby? You should be glowing. Getting married? You should be blissful. New job? New house? You should be thrilled.
But real life is more complex than Instagram captions. And real emotions don’t follow the script that everyone else seems to have memorized.
Parenthood is a transition like no other, and it’s frustrating that so many people still have a hard time hearing this without wanting to silver-line it for you. The truth is, becoming a parent involves genuine loss—and it’s okay to grieve what’s gone.
You might be grieving:
- Your freedom to make spontaneous decisions
- Your relationship as it was before kids
- Your body and how it’s changed
- Your career trajectory or professional identity
- Your sense of self outside of being someone’s parent
- The simplicity of life before it got complicated by car seats and nap schedules
This isn’t ingratitude. It’s humanity.
What the Research Tells Us
The transition to parenthood—something researchers call “matrescence”—is as significant as adolescence, but we rarely acknowledge it with the same understanding or support. Studies show that up to 75% of new mothers experience some form of “baby blues,” and 10-15% develop postpartum depression.
In my practice serving Georgetown and surrounding Central Texas communities, I’ve noticed that moms often struggle in isolation, thinking they’re the only ones feeling this way. But beyond clinical diagnoses, there’s something deeper happening: an identity shift that involves genuine loss. When you become a parent, parts of who you were don’t just go dormant—they actually die. And death, even when it leads to new life, requires mourning.
From a faith perspective, this makes perfect sense. Scripture tells us that unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it cannot bear fruit (John 12:24). The Christian life—and particularly motherhood—is full of these “deaths” that lead to new growth. But that doesn’t make the dying part painless.
When Faith Feels Complicated
As a Christian therapist in Georgetown, I’ve sat with countless women who feel guilty for grieving during seasons they “should” be celebrating. They love their children fiercely, but they also miss who they used to be. They’re grateful for their families, but they’re also exhausted and overwhelmed.
Many of the moms I work with in Round Rock, Cedar Park, and Austin have shared similar experiences—sitting in church feeling like they’re the only ones struggling while everyone else seems to have it figured out.
And then comes the shame: Good Christian women shouldn’t feel this way. I should just trust God. I should have more faith.
But here’s what I’ve learned through years of faith-based counseling: Faith doesn’t eliminate grief—it gives it context.
The Psalms are full of honest lament. Jesus himself wept. God doesn’t ask us to pretend everything is fine when our hearts are breaking. He asks us to bring our whole selves—including our sadness, our confusion, and our questions—to Him.
The Both/And of Motherhood
One of the most beautiful and difficult truths about parenthood is that it’s a both/and experience:
- You can love your children deeply and miss your old life
- You can be grateful for your family and grieve your losses
- You can trust God’s plan and feel sad about what’s changed
- You can be a good mother and struggle with the transition
This isn’t contradiction—it’s completeness. It’s what it looks like to be fully human in a complex world.
Moving Through the Grief
If you’re in this season—caught between gratitude and grief—here are some gentle truths I want you to carry:
Give yourself permission to mourn
Don’t rush through your feelings or try to “fix” them with gratitude lists. Grief has its own timeline, and healing requires honesty about what hurts.
Find your people
Isolation makes everything harder. Look for other parents who can hold space for your whole experience—the joy and the struggle. In Central Texas, this might mean joining a mom’s group at your church, connecting with other families at Georgetown parks, or finding virtual communities when in-person feels too overwhelming.
Community doesn’t mean finding people who think exactly like you; it means finding people who can love you while you’re figuring it out.
Remember your anchor
When everything feels upside down, remember what hasn’t changed: God’s love for you. Your identity as His beloved daughter. The truth that He works all things together for good—even the painful things.
Ask for help
This might mean practical help (childcare, meal trains, cleaning) or emotional help (therapy, spiritual direction, trusted friends). You weren’t meant to do this alone.
Create space for both/and
Don’t let anyone—including yourself—pressure you into choosing between gratitude and grief. You can honor what you’ve lost while celebrating what you’ve gained.
When Grief Becomes Something More
Sometimes what starts as normal transition grief deepens into something more serious—postpartum depression, anxiety, or other mental health challenges. If you’re experiencing:
- Persistent sadness that interferes with daily life
- Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby
- Inability to bond with your child
- Severe anxiety or panic attacks
- Feeling disconnected from reality
Please reach out for professional help immediately. There’s no shame in needing support, and early intervention can make all the difference.
A Different Kind of Hope
I’m not going to tell you that everything happens for a reason or that God never gives you more than you can handle. Those platitudes, however well-intentioned, often cause more harm than healing.
Instead, I’ll tell you this: Your story isn’t over. The grief you’re feeling right now is real and valid, but it’s not the final word. God specializes in resurrection—bringing new life out of death, beauty from ashes, purpose from pain.
The woman you were before isn’t completely gone; she’s being transformed. Parts of her are dying so that new parts can be born. It’s painful and sacred and completely normal.
And in the meantime, while you’re in the middle of becoming, you don’t have to pretend to be happy. You don’t have to perform gratitude. You can just be honest about where you are and trust that God meets you there.
You’re Not Alone in Central Texas
If you’re reading this from Georgetown, Round Rock, Cedar Park, Austin, or anywhere in Central Texas and recognizing yourself in these words, please know: you are not broken, you are not failing, and you are not alone.
Thousands of women in our community are walking this same path—loving fiercely while grieving deeply, holding onto faith while wrestling with doubt, becoming mothers while mourning who they used to be.
Your feelings don’t disqualify you from being a good mom. Your struggles don’t disqualify you from God’s love. Your honest questions don’t disqualify you from faith.
They make you human. And human is exactly what God created you to be.
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Need Support? I’m Here to Help
If you’re struggling with the transition to parenthood or need support processing complex emotions around motherhood, I’d love to walk with you. I offer virtual Christian counseling for women and couples throughout Texas, specializing in:
- Postpartum support and adjustment
- Faith-based individual counseling
- Christian couples counseling
- Support for new moms feeling overwhelmed
Serving Georgetown, Round Rock, Cedar Park, Austin, and all of Central Texas virtually.
See If We’re a Good Fit or email me at info@faithfocustherapy.com
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Read Next:
- You Can’t Out-Therapy a Faith Crisis
- Marriage Isn’t Supposed to Complete You
- Hope for the Spiritually Burned Out
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About the Author: Alex Barnette, LMFT, is a Christian therapist serving Georgetown, TX and surrounding Central Texas communities. She specializes in faith-based counseling for individuals and couples, with particular expertise in postpartum support and spiritual integration in therapy.
*This post is part of the “Mood Food” blog—honest, hope-filled content for real people navigating real life. Subscribe below to get weekly encouragement delivered to your inbox.•
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This post was written using our automated content process that takes actual insights from my practice and turns them into inspirational content. Read about the process here.
